FCD

For a Change, Defend

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About

I founded For a Change, Defend in 2014 as a statement and active push towards using our skills and tools to create a safer and stronger world for gender equality.

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Personal Statement

Speech at the 2017 GIRL Convention -10,000 attendees

"Hello! Thank you so much for having me here. I am honored to be part of the innovator panel. Being an innovator is an interesting concept. You know I attend UC Berkeley in California, and being so close to Silicon Valley-it seems like everyone wants to be an innovator to come up with the next greatest idea or next Facebook. If you actually slow down and think about what innovation is-it’s really quite simple. It’s not the thrill or excitement of just creating something new, it really lives in the possibility of making something better. And this is what makes people so special, we are constantly changing, hoping make human lives better. Humanizing innovation is what I hope to talk about today. And why compassion is such a big role in that.

For me- innovation for me is rooted in three C’s (and to your surprise one of them is not creativity) = its courage compassion. last C is confusion— And the last one in particular may seem confusing in itself. Hopefully it might become clear later.

When I was 14, I read about a story that completely changed my life and perspective.

In 2012 a young girl in the urban part of India was brutally gang raped and killed on a city bus. She was named Nirbhaya , which means “without fear”. This case reached headlines around the world—causing an fire to end sexual violence and gender based violence globally.

I knew I wanted to do something. But I was confused. There were protests, organizations, charities, etc. that were raising their voices to end the injustices. Campaigns and awareness about these issues. But the next day, I would see another story of someone affected by the violence. I wanted to help, I just didn’t know how.

But I realized that if you care, you will innovate. Because at the end of the day, it’s not the idea that makes you an innovator, how much of your heart is in it.

I didn’t really have many skills at the age of 15—the only thing I did have was I was a second degree Black Belt n Taekwondo and 7 years learning different types of street fighting and martial arts. But I knew what the problem was. As a female in rural India, the patriarchy can silence your dreams. It silences the loud, seemingly powerful calls from around the world protesting child brides, gender based violence, and inequality. Silence. I The millions of girls in third world countries who are assaulted and violated are told to hush. And that’s what got me. That created the aha moment --the deafening silence I heard from the world, and the consequent cries for help from the other side.

So during my freshmans summer of high school, I traveled to village in the upper mountains of Himachal Pradesh to teach about 40 girls self defense . I was 15, wasn’t really sure what I was doing—but I decided to try and dedicated hours every day to teach different techniques.

By the end of the weeks, I realized something extraordinary had happened. See, originally many of these girls lived lives that were planned for them. Their freedom was limited-many forced to marry at the age of 15, facing discrimination from society form a very young age. Most importantly, there was a sense of fear within the girls—on the first day of class The first day I was there, I asked a young girl, Rakhi, a question: What do you want to be when you grow up? Rakhi responded quietly, I’m married. I will be a housewife. I looked at this small, malnutritioned 15 year old girl, beaten down by the world. Nature had inadvertently flipped a coin, and Rakhi lost.

But interestingly, as time went on I saw a change within these girls—including increased focus on their school work and ambition, many more coming up to me wishing to become engineers, doctors, etc, and some even wanting to spread self defense to neighboring schools/girls and villages. An interesting domino effect had occurred, and I had no idea how or why.

Realizing the unexpected impact of this simple project, I came to a few conclusions. Backed by recent research, I saw how the increase of physical strength actually increases one's confidence. There is one thing that is clear however, confidence can be acquired. Removing fear is the first step to empowerment.

Working with girls who were told not to laugh, that they needed less food than their brothers, who were malnourished, who were told to be child brides, confidence was the one thought that had never occurred to them. However, as the girls became more physically stronger, and what I mean by that, is more self assured in themselves, they were not in constant fear of their surroundings, they became more ambitious, more focused, confident, and wanted to pursue education which has been proven to be the most powerful way to end cycle of poverty. I could feel the energy change in the room.
This changed the hearts of these girls, and changed my heart even more. I began to teach more and went back to India to different villages, understanding sex trafficking, teaching in Blind Schools for girls-which was an amazing experience , teen dating violence in Los Angeles teaching women empowerment and defense techniques over 1500 women and girls. I am motivated by the stories of girls who once came into my class shy and broken by the inequality in society, and eventually, being leaders in their communities-one girl even speaking to hundreds in villages on India’s Independence Day to convince the power in investing in girls education n their communities.
And these experiences have been eye opening. And I’ve learned a few things from it. First, there is a lot of power in giving back using skills. I used to think that in life I was either going to improve someone else’s life or I was going to improve my own. I now understand that it’s not mutually exclusive-and improving your own skills, gaining the mental strength and confidence in your own abilities can have the greatest impact for someone else when you apply them. One of the practices I teach before starting my class is a few minutes of meditation. Which involves observing your breath and sensations, not just to increase focus, but develop a sound mind that is strong and ready for the world. I actually recently went to a 10 day meditation course which involved not talking, just sitting and observing your breath and body for hours , and obviously no tech (no phones for me was a little difficult not gonna lie!) but I became more convinced then ever that love and compassion fills the gaps in our lives. Empowering others is the greatest way to empower yourself and helping another person can bring one pure happiness. And isn’t that what innovation is—filling the gaps in our lives and in society?
I am also more convinced than ever that global impact and mental strength go hand in hand. Especially with the recent tragedy, and may our hearts and prayers go out to the victims, I believe that nonviolence is so important. So Im always inspired by the words actions and writings of leaders like Martin Luther king and Gandhi’s- who’s incredible love and compassion made a monumental change. These are individuals who even in the most extreme of circumstances, chose to “love everyone” and show compassion not hatred for all -to change the world through nonviolent resistance. So where does self defense (naturally a violent resistance) make change? See it is not necessarily the act of hurting another being that makes self defense powerful. It is the power of making oneself strong, and that strength wherever it is used in life builds the best characters in people- confidence in girls who were told to be silent to become leaders. And that in itself is striving towards a world of safety and nonviolence. I’m incredibly inspired by the stories of these girls I teach, think that they are the true innovators—achieving great things in difficult circumstances.
To innovate, we create ideas that are bigger than ourselves. I urge you to work hard, build skills and always in the back of your mind, try to fill the gaps with compassion. It’s the passion and vigor towards something that creates novel ideas, not just waiting around for the Eureka moment. And as human beings, that internal drive is often to make either ourselves or the others around happier-to improve lives and change the world. We can do the develop compassion for others-and mental strength in ourselves. That’s what I call a fighting spirit-thats why we are here today It’s up here (not here). Every girl in this room is resonating with courage and strength. So I urge you, what gets you up in the morning. How can you swim against the current? What do you want to do next? And if you’re confused. Don’t worry. That’s a good sign. Don’t just accept what people tells you to do and how things are. The best thing about not knowing is the fact that you want to try to know and that’s an awesome journey. To understand, with your own observations, thoughts and experiences. So last thing I leave with you, I urge you not just to take my word. I encourage you to go out and do something yourself. I could be wrong, I could be right. But being an innovator is being not sure. I can’t wait to see what you all do next. Thank you."

Code

 i = 0; String s ="goal"

	while (!world.isGenderEqual()) {
	    print 'work is in progress ';
	    world.safety_measures();
	    world.wage_gap();
	    world.education_for_girls();
	    world.women_in_tech();
	    i++;
	}

	print 'It took ' + i + ' iterations to get here. But we got there.';

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